Beware the Rabenmutter

Scarcely a worse insult can be hurled at a working mother in Germany

Greg Langley

Rabenmutter (“raven mother”) is not a name any German woman would welcome. It refers to mothers who neglect or abandon their children – a synonym for cruel, uncaring women lacking maternal instinct. In Germany, it is a colloquial term used for mothers who work when their children are young.

The raven is regarded with distaste in many cultures because it eats flesh, is often seen in graveyards and, in the past, flocked around places of sacrifice, gallows and guillotines. It is a bearer of bad luck and an omen of death.

To Germans, the term, which has no real equivalent in other languages, has a powerful grip stemming from the nation’s history. Being a bad mother carries a huge stigma for postwar generations, partially because of the harsh child-rearing practices promoted by National Socialists. Parents were encouraged to harden their children by not showing affection and by imposing harsh discipline.

A typical maxim was: “A young German must be as swift as a greyhound, as tough as leather, and as hard as Krupp steel.” Child-rearing was also a function of the state. Kindergartens, schools and Hitler Youth groups became places to breed an unquestioningly obedient ‘super race.’

It is no wonder, therefore, that in Germany there is extreme sensitivity about the upbringing of children and, perhaps, why there has been strong resistance against institutional child care. Until very recently, mothers who sent their children to full-day schools or after-school care were regarded as Rabenmutter. And, of course, mothers who work often have to rely on child care centers.

The baby-boomer worldview strongly influenced the concept. Embedded in the German student revolution were painful memories of Nazism. It was also inspired by the “make love, not war” culture of baby boomers elsewhere. In turn, a prominent psychological theory emerged that mother-child bonding is key to stability, and that children rejected by their mothers can become aggressive or depressive. German working mothers were maligned.

THE RAVEN’S BAD RAP

However, this is changing as a new generation comes into the workforce. They do not carry postwar scars and are enjoying the fruits of feminism. Young German women today are better educated than ever before, more likely to pursue careers without guilt, and increasingly have partners who help with child care.

The term is also tough on ravens, which according to experts are unfairly accused of pushing their young out of the nest. In actual fact, ravens feed their young, warn them of dangers and protect them for some weeks after they leave the nest – “the nest” of course being that well-known metaphor for human family homes.

Beware the Rabenmutter

Scarcely a worse insult can be hurled at a working mother in Germany

Greg Langley

Beware the Rabenmutter

Scarcely a worse insult can be hurled at a working mother in Germany

Greg Langley

Rosie’s revolution

The end of population growth

The younger wife’s curse

Challenging and self-reliant